no matter what you are going through, there is Hope and a certain Peace that never leaves.
i’ve been in and out of this personal space for months. The dreams and plans that I thought God had set before me (us) have drastically changed over the last 6 months. I’ve struggled with remaining obedient to whatever He’s set before me that’s next. Just doing the next thing. Unpacking boxes, learning to live with family, grieving over the loss of community, grieving over the nest being empty and seriously having to start over with real life friendships. Sometimes the struggle is momentary, sometimes it takes weeks to push through. In any event, what you need to hear is what I’ve needed to hear. He is your foundation.
what you need to hear is that God loves you and is full of Hope and a Peace that can’t be found in anything or anyone on this earth… i’m learning this lesson in such personal ways. I’m praying that I’ll be able to share that with you over the next few weeks. I won’t be doing that through someone else’s platform, or program or band wagon. Just here. I’ve understood over the past few weeks that the call on my life is unique, sacred and well just plain scorching… thanks Shankle . (You can listen to all the keynotes here. Take a box of kleenex and make sure nobody else is around to hear you grunt and moan and scream. I’m not kidding.) The last couple of years of having my heart broken in Haiti and becoming a local missionary and then not being a missionary anymore… I hope to tell that story here.
I was able to attend Allume last week after having attended Catalyst with Suzanne, visiting my girls and their men & Union family and sitting with G in the hospital. I’ve been gone a lot. I’ve been completely and utterly exhausted and didn’t really want to put myself out there again.. kinda suspected that God would show up at Allume.. what’s a Christian writing/blogging conference without Jesus? I ask you?
I needed to go for work, yes, but also needed to be there for me. In so many ways I needed to be at Allume this past weekend. In so many ways. here are just a couple:
to hear Myquill & Chad talk about social media/blogging and marriage.
to hear Bianca throw down.. with love and passion.
I have a couple new best friends. (I swear it feels like they get me at a level that not many outside of my sister, Suzanne and Karen understand)
Edie threw down with this:: Suffering makes us Blessed – it forces us to seek solitude, it helps us to hide in the cross, it will usher in the kingdom of God, it is the life of the Christian.
Lisa made me weep as she said this: do you want to write good words or write good words that matter? perfect people make terrible writers… (um hello) we have to be about writing that matters. there is something about words..in careful hands offered honestly, they both fire and free the soul… and so much more. and she’s just plain gorgeous…
Ann spoke (in Gringo boots) directly into this season when she said : in a culture of numbers how do you kneel? when you only live for an audience of One, you know you always count. when the world strives, the wise still.
and then this sweet friend prayed over me.. and i know is praying still.
Honestly have not felt such a wonderful Jesus loving, writers community before. Allume was truly amazing, completely exhausting and I know, I seriously know, that it was because every detail was bathed in prayer and direction from Him. Logan and her team did a great job. Seriously so proud to have been there and to have seen such profound worship every day all day… all for Him. I’m taking the message God’s given me over these last few months, digesting and going deeper with Him. I hope to see you around here again… all two of you.